My Heart is Acheing.

For those of you who have not heard yet; our family has been going through one of the worst times of our lives. My brother in law Travis J. Tolman was killed in a fourwheeler accident on Friday night 8/22/08. He was riding up on trout creek in the moutains with a group of his friends. I have been on the medical side of these family tragedys and we have been surrounded her in Jefferson County lately and I was sad and my thoughts were with these families; but until it happens to you there is no way to even say that you understand. I don't understand why these things happen and they always seem to happen to the people who have such a great future. Travis was that brother in law that from day one made me feel like family. He was at my house almost everyday and if he was not there Josh or I would call and ask what he was doing. He was my husband's best friend, they talked everyday, planned weekends together and all vacations were to include each other. Now we are lost. We have been surrounded by friends and family which has made this whole thing so much easier. When we are alone it is when the tears start to rush and the thoughts become overwhelming. My daughter still talkes about him everyday and she seems to be the only one who gets it. She tells me not to cry because uncle is happy in heaven and he is with Jesus. She looks up in the sky and says.."I want to talk to uncle" and then tells him little random things that are so cute that I laugh and then I know that is what Travis wanted me to do in the first place.
We will be having a memorial service for Travis on Wed. Aug. 27th, 2008 at 3:00pm at the LHCC in madras and who all that new him we would love if you were there.

As I said last posting please value every moment you have with the ones you love and make sure they know how you feel. You never know when it maybe the last time you get to say it.

Travis, I will always love and miss you. I always wanted a brother and now I know why I did not get one growing up..... it's because I was getting you! You will be forever missed and Never forgotton! I love you.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.

As I lay here about to go to sleep for the day (remember I work nights) I am thinking about this weekend at work. What an amazing job I have. I can see life start and end all in a 12 hours shift. I can help heal a wounded heart and comfort a tearful family memeber all in the same room. I watch people go through the best and worst times of their lives on anygiven day at work; and yet I am still amazed at how God handles it all. There are things I don't understand and many that I am sure I will only understand when I can ask God myself in person. I do believe that God has a plan for us all and that everything happens for a reason even when we think there could not possible be one. I lay here today thanking God multiple times that my family is safe and that I get another day with my daughter and husband. That my Dad, Moms, grandparents are all safe and that we can be together, while others moarn the loss of one of their family member. I found myself tonight more judgmental than I ever thought I could be and as I walked to my car I was sick to my stomach to think that even though I had strong feeling about the situation I had no right to think and say the things that I said. ( While venting privately to a cor-worker) I had to remember that even though I was so upset over the situation that that person was still a person and a soul that needed Gods guidence as much or as I think about it more than anyone else. I found myself saying a prayer in the hospital parking lot to help him...... Something that I did not ever think I would do. Thank you God for opening my eyes. So I guess what I am saying is that please kiss those close to you and tell them that you love them every chance you get. Be safe and thank God for the little things in life that make living such a precious gift. I sure know that I will be doing these things more often that is for sure.

Our little Surprise.

So last night when Josh got off work, Kaiden and I had everything packed in the bronco and we took off on a very needed family drive. We had both dogs, the top of the bronco off, the weather was perfect. We drove out where we elk hunt and just drove around. We talked, played with Kaiden, the dogs were able to get some much needed excersice. It was so nice to just be our little family and enjoying the amazing outdoors. So after driving for a while we thought it would be a great time for dinner. Kaiden and I had packed our little travel grill and everything we would need for hamburgers and hot dogs, fruit, chips, potato salad, and cookies. Everything was perfect........ That is until I found out that I had forgot the propane! Yep I had everything all covered.... blankets.... plates......dessert..........drinks.........everything but I could not cook anything! Well we did what we do best and just laughed and had cold hotdogs and chips, salad and preztles...... We really thought about making a small fire to cook but we thought that with the high fire hazard we better not:). Well after we ate we headed home... What a great sky last night. It was warm, no clouds, lots of stars and a very bright almost full moon. All in all it was a great night and I loved just spending time with two of the most important people in my life....

One last evening to the weekend.

Okay so i think that I have caught up on the pics. for the most party. I am going to finsh the day with a great smile about my family. I thank God everyday for my husband and daughter. Today we got so much done and it was so nice. On top of all that we just were together and it was great. For those of you that have children you understand this for those that don't I only hope that one day you will understand this. I am sitting here watching Kaiden play with Josh and she has this deep belly laugh that makes you cry in laughter. Well that is what I am listing to right now and it is wonderful. Well have a great night and I hope you have a wonderful work week.

Monty............

Okay so I only have a couple pic. But here is the newest member of our every growing family. Kaiden is at this point an only child but she has lots of furry little animals to keep her company. So she now has; Kenai and Ziess (the dogs) Buddy (the bird) and newly.... Monty (the bunny)

Matt/Tami's Wedding.

Okay so this is a little late but I thought these pictures were cute. Josh and Kaiden were both in the wonderful wedding on July 5, 2008 and now here are the pictures.